Through The Eyes Of A Child
63
I never had the chance to be,
The way a child should be,
Running through the school yard,
With a heart so young and free.
Instead I sat so quietly,
No-one could understand,
Why I held my head so sadly,
While they danced round hand in hand.
I never wore the frilly frocks,
The other girls did wear,
But I loved the satin ribbon,
Momma tied up in my hair.
They begged for me to join their games,
As they looked at me confused,
They walked away so sadly,
When I repeatedly refused.
One day the wind did change its path,
Through the tall gum trees green and vast,
The girls that once did love me,
Silently went past.
And even when the wind was gone,
As Winter passed away,
I sat there in seclusion,
As not one eye did look my way.
I tried to hide the tears,
That splashed upon my cheeks,
I could not let them see the truth,
That I was painfully weak.
As cruel words stung my spirit,
Even then I could not speak,
Instead I turned and walked away,
"The Grade Two Blue-eyed Freak ".
And when the school bell broke at three,
Elation filled the air,
I would look unto the wired fence,
And hope that Dad weren't there.
For when I saw my Mommas face,
My little legs did race,
While my Momma stood there rigidly,
With a deep frown upon her face.
I made my Momma angry,
For most everything I did,
It seemed she failed to realize,
I was just a little kid.
So I kept my secrets deep inside,
For I did not want her mad,
To tell her "Daddy hurts me",
How could I say that bout my Dad?.
At night while holding Teddy,
I would kneel beside me bed,
"God what I really want for Xmas,
Is for you to send me a best friend".
Then Spring turned into Summer,
As all inside did break,
I punched a boy with all my might,
And smacked him in the face.
The boy had killed my Teddy,
He ripped him right in two,
The only friend I ever had,
It ripped my heart right through.
Something changed inside me,
From that very day,
With a resentment for my parents,
And an inability to pray.
A woman now I have become,
Who now has found her voice ,
To speak of the horrendous crimes,
Where children have no choice.
I whisper to my God,
With tears down my face,
"Have mercy on our children,
For our future human race".
Please understand this is a horrendous crime, child abuse is not acceptable, not human, not your fault in anyway or form. Do not be afraid to speak out. Dedicated to all the dear victims who have been affected by this kind of abuse. Remember there is hope, there is love, there is healing, always.!! May the sunlight once again begin to shine in your life. You are beautiful.
© Debbie Murray 2009.
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Loved it, BP. Had I been there, I would've punched someone in the face for you (if that's what you want). I'm not a violent person, but if it meant protecting someone I truly care for, I'd make an exception. Thank you for sharing this poem with me.
Oh Deb - so heartbreaking - what's wonderful is that you still have a heart overflowing with love. (((hugs)))
So powerful and vivid, Blondepoet. Thanks so much for writing it.
Such a moving hub. There is nothing more beautiful than a child’s innocence. I hope you have gotten to know your inner child. Held her. She must be a bute. Shine on BP, shine on.
BP this was incredible. Your poetry rocks and it makes me sad to know what u have been through. Thanks for standing up for our kids.
dori
How! Blondpoetess, you write plenty good. You deserve heap big award. How!
Beautiful.
Children are pure, and know nothing but what they desire and what desires them.
Innocence is forever, when one can obtain a static-free existence. ;)
Immaculate poem about a terrible injustice. I loved it.
blonde you have hit right on the nail the pain you say is so true, but the hearts beat free now but still hold the pain in a small pocket in the heart , but we live free and do what we want to now, so streatch your wings and fly going higher and higher. well done
Why is this so sad, yet so true???
Awesome as always. You have such a way with words and this poem is every much needed to awaken many to the deep need for a child's security and love.
A very good poem. I wish that we didn't have to write material on this terrible crime. How anyone could harm a little child baffles me.
Thank you for keeping the world aware Debbie.
Thank you Deb! One of your best works. Love ya!
Dear Blondepoet,
That to me was one of the most beatiful and moving pieces I have ever read. You are a true inspiration artists that has ever come along . Please don't stop writting you have a God Given Gift my love.
Sincerely ThunderCattle
BP, Your poem is heartbreaking, but so beautifully written. I could hardly read it through the tears. And the photos of all the babies was wonderful. Thanks for this tenderhearted look into a serious and appalling crime against children
Beautiful poem, BP. As has been said much already, deeply moving. Words that can bring comfort of not being alone for those with similar memories.
I just read this and watched the video you made on the other hub. Wow... Jodi said it well. I'm really glad they never broke your spirit and that you're now able to help others that have had similar experiences but are unable to find a way to deal with it. Thumbs up.
You are the bomb, Debs, the best poet on this site!
Your poetry is frigging awesome. How are your book sales doing?
a very moving poem
A heartbreaking poem told by a courageous poet!
xoxo
Great poem you are right child abuse is unacceptable,great courage!!
So very touching, my lovely friend. You manage to draw the reader in and join you on your journey of remembrance!
It's a lovely and sad poem. Child abuse is inhumane and beastial. Thanks for this cry...
From my heart to yours dear, this is a thrilling piece of craftsmanship on your part. Sad is the underlying subject, but beautiful in the telling and so moving. You have come so far my dear friend and it is wonderful of you to share what you have for us. You rock dear one, really you do. yer the bee's knees. LOL I do so love ya, hugs CC btw, kudos to Cindy who guided me here to this gem
Your poetry regarding childhood is sweet and something any mother could treasure!
BP dear, you are a most gorgeous butterfly that has metamorphosed into a queen of Lepidopteras. Being full of aposematism you are not one to bugger with in the wrong way.
It's such a lovely moving poem. I'm so sorry for all those bad experiences. This is the first time I have visited your hub; I have never thought that the bubbly blondepoet in the forum had some sad memories. I'm happy to know that you still have managed to become as lovely as you are now in and out despite all those. Cheers to that! =)
My heart aches for you. beautiful poem.
Very nice Deb!
You have bared your soul...and you are as beautiful as your poem. Thank you.
This is heartwrenching. I salute your honesty and courage.
Oh my , The pain, sadness,hurt, You did a very good job at getting your point across. Thank you.
When children get hurt, it tears me up inside. It's painful most esp. because the wounds will have a ripple effect when the child grows up. Deb, it is such a moving poem and as always makes me want to run to the little child for a comforting hug. Hugs...
This kinda took me unawares. I've always thought of you as a toughie, which you must definitely are. But its beyond intriguing to know your delicate features. Child abuse is a sick sick thing. And to be honest with, I can really do harm to such people molesters, and I probably will too, If I ever saw one. However, this is about you, so all I gotta say is keep ya head up and stay as free a spirit as you can possible be. Dont ever perch on the branches of trees of old painful memories.
blondepoet,
Sometime words (mine in this case) are not enough - thank you.
Brilliantly moving poem. Speaks volumes.
Blondepoet, you are so amazing. I never know whether your hubs are going to make me roar with laughter or break my heart. You go girl!
lovely hub thanks for sharing......
blondepoet, my dear friend, your talent is amazing yet you apply it to serve our community's great needs. I have never read a hub of yours that doesn't contain a message/moral that we can't relate to in our daily life. You have brought reality with all its sweetness as well as its bitterness in your hubs in order to remind us that we are not alone though many suffer alone. You have a great talent in expressing the human feelings, which sometimes we ourselves tend to hide or bury. With your writing, and by the help of this little community we have here i think we can speak out loud our thoughts and help those who have no shoulder to rest their heads on when the light starts to dim.
Yes child abuse is a treacherous crime against humanity and no matter how terrifying or traumatic the experience is, the crime shouldn't remain in the darkness. For all our brothers and sisters out there, i say find your voice in us, find faith in us, that you can speak the sorrowful truth and whether or not people believe you, YOU SHOULD KNOW that WE ARE ON YOUR SIDE and ready to give you the hand in order to help you up.
Where, how did you find your voice? I am 54 and still terrified, I am trying but nobody is there, the legacy has been the ability to engender disrespect and to alienate anyone who has ever tried to become close to me.
After the abuse stopped I began to shred my own life to peices, and it is almost as if just now I am waking up. I am SO scared, Your poetry is beautiful and spoke directly to my heart.
Thank you.
Its hard to say anything, but well done.
This is one of the most beautiful poems i've ever read blondepoet!
I'm so overwhelmed and dont know what to say. I'm almost speechless.
I still say slow and painful capital punishment for all offenders. Children are very weak and vulnerable, and NOBODY, ABSOLUTELY NOBODY, has the right to harm children, whether its their child or not.
One of the greatest and moving hubs i've read in my few months at HP.
GodBless.
*glomps* (I still don't know what that means..)
Hey, where you at?!
hiya just wanted to say hope you are well.... have the lullaby on whilst i am typing.... missed ya
Swine flu? So that's where it went--down under. =)
I'll replicate you some chicken soup. Or maybe some pork broth, just to get back at the pigs.
This must have been difficult to write but then again, I've looked up to your courage and honesty. Continue to be blessed and a blessing to others :D
What a sad little poem. As a survivor of abuse I know how this little girl felt. So often we walk a path alone.
This one got me. I loved it, especially the wrap up. You have such a gift for being able to talk about difficult things in a way that's not overbearing. Bravo. I'm very glad you became such a strong person in spite of all of your trials.
i felt myself in your words
Great to see you, BP. Missed you so much :0)
I followed Tom on over--I agree, great to see you. Things are just not the same with you and Cindy around to keep us all in line -hugs-
Lovely to see you back again, we were all so worried about you :)
:D
Good to have you back - you had us all worried!
Did you read the whole forum thread about your being "missing", you should, it just goes to show how much you are loved around here. :)
very nice peom I llike this
Then Spring turned into Summer,
As all inside did break,
I punched a boy with all my might,
And smacked him in the face.
Wow - moving and amazing! Best to you, Stephanie
That was truly beautiful and strikes a cord for many
You are amazing!
It was my past too that put this need to express my thoughts through words. I've been writing since about 10 yrs old, i got journals on piles of journals full of my history. That was great and I am looking forward to more!
--The new hubber, Cherilyn
What a heart wrenching poem that make me want to immediately pray for the little ones. Thank you for sharing this touching work of art.
Absolutely brilliant. that said it all really. When I started to read it I thought how good it was, but when I realised what it was about It tugged at me. Fantastic poem in it's own right. lol nell rose
OMG U are kidding me I am 31 And so moved by this...Thank u Vancouver wa
nice hub .same to me..aldo i'm not marry yet....for me is sooooo cute.maybe coz of my age nearly 30..ahhahahah
now thinking when i'm going to find true love
Really nice poem and superbly written. Thanks for speaking out for all our little ones.
......1 in 3....at Least one in 3 of us.
....Probably the most singular common thread of humanity...
...and so I never understood why the word humanity had a positive connotation...
Awesome hub! As an ex-cop, I can honestly say that the quickest way to make most cops go "Dirty Harry" would be a child molester. Proud to say I got a few off the streets!
I read it from start to finish with bated breath...
i miss you so much, give me just one chance to talk with you...i can't forget you!
btw i need to know who's ali!
Love the photo before your poem.
BP, an amazing poem and adding the lullaby at the end both had me in tears. Makes me doubly thankful for the childhood I had and gives me a passion to lend support and prayers to all the little gals who grew up in such pain.
Blessings.
now you delete my comments, ok...
Hey loved your poem and hated how it reminded me of things that happened in my childhood, but then that not really true as not a day goes by that I'm not remind.
I'll post my poem on the same subject. Iwrote it many years ago and have let the childrens rescue nursery use it as a fund raiser.
Are you the creator of this poem? If yes then you can become famous you know.
Wow and WOW!! You are the master BP! This is world class and so important. You have more guts and heart than most. Love your work, love you too! (With the greatest of respect.)
Another wonderful woman who can show the world what is really important in life.
A beautiful and heart wretching piece. I love the simple way it was written, almost childlike. From a survivor and now advocate..and fan.
Thanks,
warmest regards,
christal
Deeply moving
you got me here, I love children.....very nice poem, I have written something about children last week, and we have the same take on children,,,,,
thank you, Maita
Very nice. You have a great heart.
Heap big good luck to you in da New Year and a Merry Xmas too!
BP It is so wonderful when you speak out to others, I am so glad to be your friend and what an advocate you are. Merry Christmas and I hope that you never forgot teddy.:)
This is a very emotional poem. It was something that touched my heart. Thanks
Still loving you in Ohio. It is so cold now. How are you doing?
Such issues are needed to be raised. This is called the power of pen.
I too write a poem on the same issue. Can't use that as a hub, as it is posted elsewhere.
You truly write from your heart :)
this was absolutely beautiful....! just went straight to my heart...bringing wordless tears and emotions to the surface. you have a rare gift...!
See. We all love you BP. You are gifted, so fly high in that fact and put away those tears and be the queen you were meant to be. xox Wooot! Long live the queen.
Beautiful
This is such an amazing poem. Thank you so much for sharing it. I wrote about this subject in A Path With Heart 3(the loss of innocence) on my page.
The poem is a calculated piece for a screaming testimony but it is vivid in its aim to warn others. This will give future victims of child abuse the courage to come out and speak up. You are great writer, a respectable poet.
Deb - Your writing is an inspiration to anyone who has been abused. This poem, although heart wrenching went right to my core. Extremely moving, powerful and written from the heart. I am so glad that you found your voice and have the courage to speak out for the little girl that lives inside.
This poem will touch the hearts of so many people.
Thanks again,
Sage
I enjoyed your poem. I probably can't begin to understand your anguish and suffering, but it is conveyed with greater effectiveness by describing your changes, your lament that you were denied being as a little child should be, and so on. The imagery conveys the pain and your suffering very poetically, and poetry is a powerful medium for emotional communication. I wrote an article about how children suffer, and about a shield built into each of us. Maybe you can tell me if I'm not on the mark.
Blonde:
Raising my son as a single Dad was the finest and most fulfilling thing I've ever done!
I was raised a foster child. My sister and I went to 7 different grade schools.
My parents left us when I was 4 and my sister was 2.
We never knew the love of "family."
In fact, I'd never known love.
When my son was born, he opened his little brown eyes and focused on me!
I felt a powerful deep, soulfull, bonding warmth inside that I'd never felt in my life!!!
That profound,overwhelming feeling was "LOVE!"
I remember crying and looking back into his eyes and yelling "I love you!"
That feeling is still with me today!
I'm so sorry your parents didn't express their love for you like I do to my son.
My parents and yours were heartless.
What else can I say.
I loved the poem!
I love this poem. I was a victim in my childhood, so this was really, wow. I am glad that I found this. It's really beautiful.
I am floored and touched soul deep...
My mother is an incest survivor and very active in her private life with recovery, and adult child groups. Upon finishing this comment to you I am going to forward this page to her. You expressed things that I have heard my mother say a thousand times...I got lucky that her abuse allowed her to become the superior parent she was for me. And I was never abused in any such way, in fact truth be told I may be even a little spoiled and niaeve about somethings. Yes, I was an only child.
Oddly my mother has worked her whole life as a Registered Nurse. There is always a pattern underlying in things, haha.
Anyhow, I shall return with randy and high minded comments for you another day BP. I really like this one. I think your real gift is in this piece. I can see you now, the Australian answer to both Emily Dickinson and Judy Blume.
Or in modern Aussie terms - Kylie Minogue meets Olivia Newton John. Or do you prefer AC/DC and INXS?
Blessed be...
Hi there! This poem is truly amazing! It really resonates with me and although it wan't my father, it was someone that I trusted very much so to say that this really hits home is an understatement.
I have also written some poetry on my hub, if you want to take a look then go for it and let me know what you think BP. My latest one is called: My Deepest Unspoken but there are a few there that may interest you :) Speak soon! xx
HI BP this is the cry of many a child, so moving and true. I meet young women as a counselor and all the time it is the same story, my father did it to me..... Oh God when will men become fathers and protectors and mother's friends of their own daughters.
Thank you for sharing your pain and anguish with us, most of us close our eyes to what happens in our own homes.
Let this cry become a revolution...
Your poem certainly does reach chords in the innermost part of my soul. I don't like hearing of children who suffer, period, but at the hands of their parents makes it seem even worse, somehow.
Perhaps I should start posting some of my own poems here. I had thought to use this platform primarily for writing articles but now I'm thinking a combination of both may be rewarding on many levels.
Thanks for sharing this and I'm sorry you had to live through such an ordeal.
I am heartbreakingly moved by this written art. It speaks volumes and although the tale that is told to us is an ugly one, the beauty comes from the feeling that it brings out. My foster children are survivers also, blondepoet, and they are the strongest individuals I know.
May I cite your work for a Domestic Violence Parade we are holding in my community? Please tell me what I must do. I know your poem will tug at many heartstrings, as it did mine.
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Feline Prophet Level 5 Commenter 2 years ago
Deb, this is beautiful...so simply told but so moving!